


An Introduction to Racing Drivers

by FormulaFerrari



Series: Alternate Universe - Tame Racing Drivers [33]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Gen, Tame Racing Driver!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 03:52:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12050730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FormulaFerrari/pseuds/FormulaFerrari
Summary: An explanation written by Mark Webber.originally written December, 2013. Published August, 2017.An introduction to the Tame Racing Driver!AU, from the perspective of Mark Webber.- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -





	An Introduction to Racing Drivers

**An introduction to Racing Drivers**  
  
_An explanation by Mark Webber_  


You, as a fan of racing, are probably under the impression that we, the drivers, are the ones busting our balls, putting our lives on the line every weekend to go 160 around race circuits all over the world. If you've ever thought the politics of racing, especially Formula One, are complex, then you'd be bang on the money. It is sort of true that it's us in the cars, but at the same time it's not. A hard concept to follow, I know, but try to bear with me. Imagine being a fifteen year old kid and thinking you were pursuing your racing career only to be told that in two years time you wouldn't set foot in a cockpit again, but someone else would with your name. It's a lot of information to take but crucial you understand.  


These people are called Racing Drivers. And they are people, irrelevant of what the company may think of them. They're the other half of us. We are the same person; one person in two bodies.

I feel like I might be losing you, so let me try and keep this as easy to follow as I can.

My Racing Driver is called Rabbit. He is almost identical to me in looks, and where we differ the company (to you FIA) makes him change so there is no telling us apart. Rabbits eyes are dark green so he has to wear coloured contacts, making our eyes the same colour. It is he who drives the car, not me. I have not set foot in a race car since 2001.  


You're probably thinking "well what's the point of you, Webber?" And like I said we're one person in two bodies. My most important role comes in the form of public appearances. Rabbit cannot talk. The language of Racing Drivers is primarily like a sign language - a language of gestures that every Racing Driver (RD) knows. It's bloody hard to learn, so I wouldn't attempt it. We drivers have to study for at least a year before we can match with our RDs.

Other than sign language, they make "noises" as if they were talking, but they sound like engines. It's difficult to explain but the base line is if the RDs were left to their own devices you as the spectator would know pretty fast that it wasn't a human being like yourself driving the car, but another race of people. I take on the role of his translator if you want to put a title on it (but it is so much more than that). I guess the FIA didn't want you to think that because if you knew how they treated the RDs you certainly wouldn't be cheering for them as you do on a Sunday.

They do say ignorance is bliss.

I mentioned above having to train before we can match. Matching is the process of meeting your RD for the first time. It's the first time your RD will ever make eye contact with someone and that's how they connect to you. It's weird and odd and wonderful at the same time. So long as you are not the one to look away or blink first it's the first step in completing yourself. Some RDs are placid during matchings, some are scared and timid, most fight until they see their match. Then, for them, it's like coming home. It's like finding that part of yourself that makes you whole, the part you didn't even know you were missing for your entire life.

How could I know that? Well, like I said earlier, I'm more than his translator. When you connect to your other self, there is a telepathic bond that emerges between you. Sometimes it's fast but most of the time it takes a while. That's how I talk to Rabbit whilst he's racing. That's how I communicate between him and the team so he knows when to pit and when there is a safety car or the team know how his tyres are or if there is a problem with the car.

As "nice" as life is for matched RDs, the unmatched ones in team stables have it rough. And so do our guys when they're sent back between races. They sleep in cupboards, have little holding cells and are forced to mate with each other to produce little racing drivers so the system can continue. RDs are separated from their mothers at a young age and are never expected to see them again.

RDs have to race. It's in their DNA and their purpose for living. Without racing, they would drive themselves insane and probably accidentally kill themselves or get themselves killed by handlers who thought they were a nuisance. This also means that their human matches (like myself) are sometimes forced into racing when they don't want to race. Without the human match, the RD cannot be seen by the public.

If a human math refuses, the FIA will kill the RD as unusable stock. This would most definetly financially bankrupt a match and his/her family for the cost of the RD AND kill an innocent RD for no reason.

It is dreadful the way the RDs are treated, and the matches to an extent but that's nothing on how the actual RDs are treated. They are sold and brought by teams like slaves and forced into situations they may not want to be in, but have no choice because without complying they would be forced through hell (more so than they already are).

That's why there is an underground group. They're not ready to expose themselves yet, but they're working towards equal rights for RDs alongside humans. They're working towards a world where RDs can race freely as themselves and their matches can ether race with them or allow them to race alone. Where everyone - matches and RDs - is allowed to make their own decisions. Where forced studding trips (mating between RDs) is illegal and a criminal offence. A world where those who have done this to the RD race will pay severely for their crimes and it will never happen again.

I am proud to say I am part of that group and am working towards that better tomorrow.

The Top Gear team is lead by Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May - the three who were first exposed to the world of RDs outside a racing contract that binds you to complete disclosure. The TG has grown exponentially and now includes many of the Formula One drivers from past and present, as well as Racing Riders and their matches.

We're collecting evidence in the shadows, were gathering everything we need to free the RDs and Racing Riders and send the bastards at the FIA to hell forever for what they have done. We will make them pay for their crimes and we will bring a better tomorrow.

When it is safe to do so and the rebellion has won, I will publish this piece with hope that it will help the public understand who RDs are and why they should be fought for. Our achievements are really their achievements, and they should be celebrated for them, not us.

Some of my colleagues have given me consent to release the names of their Racing Drivers so you know them as we do when they finally see the light of the public:

Mark Webber - Rabbit  
  
Fernando Alonso - Alondra  
  
Sebastian Vettel - Sunshine (Sunny)  
  
Mitch Evans - Hare  
  
Daniel Ricciardo - Oz  
  
Max Verstappen - Pilot  
  
Carlos Sainz Jr - Fili  
  
Daniil Kvyat - Tyazhelyy (Tumba)  
  
Timo Bernhard - Mannschaft (Manny)  
  
Brendon Hartley - Kiwi  
  
Tom Kristensen - Mr LeMans (Le Mans)  
  
Max Chilton - Freeza  
  
Jules Bianchi - Trace  
  
Valtteri Bottas - Pauli  
  
Giedo van de Garde - Guardian  
  
Esteban Gutierrez - Alisar  
  
Alexander Rossi - Xerxes  
  
Jean-Eric Vernge - JEV  
  
Ma Qing Hua - Shadow  
  
Dani Clos - Zuri  


Top Gear's Black Stigs were Midnight and Dark Sky. Top Gear's White Stings were/are Stig and Stiggy 

Jeremy Clarkson's Racing Driver was called Blue. Blue was killed in an accident when he crashed a Porsche filming for Top Gear. 


End file.
